I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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