i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
