they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
