yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
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He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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