We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
