U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
