Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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