In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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