apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
