I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
