Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
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I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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