We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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