Your tits are I can't wait for
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize