new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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