HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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