Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize