im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
