Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the room spins SO much faster in panama
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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