my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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