i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize