Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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