Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
