so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
