Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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