No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
