He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
