she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
