I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
