please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
