I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
