i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The air was thick with penises
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
