I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
