I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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