And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize