But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
