If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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