There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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