Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
