So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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