he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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