there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
