I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
