Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be sponsored by Trojan
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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