this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
