we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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