Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
