My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
