we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
