How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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