I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
