i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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