you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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