There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
