I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
