Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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