Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I want a musical about memes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
