When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
