i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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