I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
