the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
